


11:11

by CheonsaGyu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Amnesia, Business, Emotionless, Fluff, Infidelity, M/M, Sad, businessman!AU, confusingpain, doctor!AU, light - Freeform, reallytragic, youdontknowwhotoempathizewith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 12:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9234665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheonsaGyu/pseuds/CheonsaGyu
Summary: Where Jungkook knows he fucked up; so fucking bad and it hurts.It just hurts all the more knowing Taehyung looks like he couldn’t care about it one bit.





	1. Breakdowns

**Author's Note:**

> this has a very 'finite' feel to its plot. 
> 
> and cheaters never win anyways so be in for tragedy.
> 
> (For this chapter, I'd like for y'all to listen to 'Take A Bow' by Rihanna. (the instrumental if you prefer, it really makes you feel the vibe of the sadness)

It all starts when Taehyung finishes his shift from working endless hours in the hospital. He was a doctor, a renowned one at that in Seoul. He specialized in taking care of the mental health of his patients; meaning he was a psychiatrist: he knew the ins and outs of the human brain by a science and was damn well good one at that.

It just so happens that he can’t say the same for his own.

He fixes himself up in their offices’ personal bathroom and closes the two large doors of the doctor’s area in the hospital. Hoseok texts him one last time to check up on him and makes sure he gets home safely, being a fellow psychiatrist and all earned him the natural trait of taking care of others; Taehyung in specific and the auburn-haired boy extremely appreciated that. As usual, he would always reply to Hoseok in a joking manner about how he might collapse and that his heart is hurting, the usual banter and Hoseok would end up making an **XD** reply to him.

He was excited, he was jolting at the thought of coming back home. Of coming back home after a week filled with checkups, mental assesments and calming patients. He was finally coming home to _their_ shared apartment in Seoul; the one they shared through their 5 years together, the one that saw all of their ups and downs together.

He was coming home to Jungkook.

On the way home, after all the endorphins settles down Taehyung decides to stop at a cake shop and orders a Black Forest; the kind that had a lot of cherries and the ones that Jungkook loved to eat. In all of his pure excitement, he calls up the younger who was probably up watching some anime. Taehyung also lowkey hoped he was just as excited as him for coming home, seeing as how Taehyung kept reminding Jungkook for the last 3 days that he was finally ending his shift and getting a week off from work. To which Jungkook would always audibly grin and huff, mentioning random words of encouragement that made Taehyung all the more energized during the past days.

The phone rang, it rang for about 4 repeats until the other end responded.

“Hel--?” was the other end’s response, the rest of the syllables muffled in sounds of cloth shuffling around. Taehyung peeked interest. “Kookie! I’m gonna be there in about 5 so you better get ready with the pla--“ Taehyung grins and places a high tone to his voice to insinuate the amount of excitement running through his veins in the middle of the night.

“Ye hyung! I-I can’t hear you! Gotta call later, think of me there an—Jimin stop it!” Jungkook retreats, his voice urgent, tone wanting to end the call making Taehyung raise an eyebrow in confusion. Why was Jimin at the end of his sentence? Wasn’t Jimin supposed to be out of the country right now? Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook’s bestfriend, was in their apartment with Jungkook. Alone.

Taehyung doesn’t know why. But the moment he drops his phone to his jeans’ pocket, his fist turns a deadly pale white and his lips tremble.

But he still had the nerve to drive all the way to _their home._

The curiosity was constantly bugging him. Why were the sheets muffled? They sounded like they came from the bedroom. The line was far from choppy, in fact he clearly heard breathing that didn’t sound like they came from Jungkook. Why was Jungkook with Jimin in the middle of the night? Jimin was never one to visit any of the pair unless they were together.

All of this left him with a dark idea bubbling at the back of his head; one that he chose to ignore and never entertain for the rest of the drive home.

It wasn’t until he reached the building of their condominium that he decides to call Jimin this time and ask him his whereabouts; the boy was a tech-savvy and was one to never let his phone disappear from his vicinity.

It doesn’t answer once again until the 5th or 6th ring and until so, Taehyung’s feet were skittish, tapping back and forth as he sat on the bench in front of their apartment. Biding his time before entering the elevator to their home and hopefully seeing a Jungkook against all odds; alone and with a pair of plates at their dining table. The phone opens up, muffled sounds once again and a slight rocking of sheets and pillows.

“H-Hello? Jimin-ah, I-“ Taehyung politely asks, braving himself up to ask across the phone. But before his sentence finishes, a sound of doubt and pleasure goes through his phone. And this time, that little dark bubble at the back of his head grew exponentially.

“Ji-Jimin-ah! You shouldn’t be here. What if Taehyung catches us?!” Jungkook’s voice. Taehyung was a million percent sure he would recognize that honey-warm voice anywhere, no matter how muffled or chopped the audio source was. All that followed it up were hushes, rocking of sheets and more explicit moans that were far too familiar and burned deep into Taehyung’s guts.

“H-he won’t be. He’s too far busy being a saint anyways. I’m here to give you a good time Kookie and I don’t care if I’m the devil in this situation. B-But fuck.” Jimin’s voice rocks deeply into Taehyung’s core as he listens in. He was now completely sure that the phone was accidentally put on Answer; by the rocking sheets most probably but one thing was for sure; Taehyung hated the thought of sheets in their home rocking without him.

“G-God Jimin! You feel so fucking good!” was the last thing Taehyung heard, sounds of slapping, lascivious moaning and sounds of Jimin and Jungkook’s names repeated by each other in mantra’s and in different tones of pleasure.

The growing bubble now grew too much that Taehyung couldn’t ignore it, and soon enough; a clear thought was formed in his head as he dropped the box of cake by the bench and stood up; but not before tears began pooling at the side of his eyes.

_Jungkook was cheating on him, right now, at this very moment whilst he was holding a cake. With Jimin of all people._

Taehyung was a strong person, both physically and mentally. But not even the strongest-willed of individuals could survive the wrath of heartbreak; not especially when you were in too deep.

Suddenly, Taehyung’s vision blurred. But he was still clear, awake and aware of his thoughts. The top of his nose began to feel stuffy, but not from snot or any of the fluids related to crying. His head was starting to feel weightless and his brain aware but not being able to process his emotions. He knew he was going to soon collapse, but he couldn’t do it here. Not in public.

_It was coming back again._

So Taehyung, while he was still grasping onto the last few strands of sanity and wariness he had, immediately dashes for the empty elevator at an ungodly time. The attendant only giving him a raise in eyebrows in pure confusion as she sees one of their residents holding their head literally, as if it were about to explode.

He pushes the buttons in panic, luckily pressing the 5th; his and Jungkook’s unit.

“Keep yourself together Kim Taehyung. This is not happening again. You promised. You promised 13 years ago this would stop. Get ahold of yourself” Taehyung tells himself, alone and nearing crazy as he repeats these words like religion. Trying his best to get ahold of his sanity until he can reach the unit.

“Taehyung, everything’s going to be alright. It won’t happen again, this is just because… Just because Jungkook is fucking Jimin. Nothing much.” Taehyung tells himself slowly as he sprints for the end of the hallway; their unit. And he clamors for his set of keys fumbling about, his left palm still supporting the top of his neck in discomfort.

As he finds the key and inserts it, all sounds stop. And his vision begins to whiten and the lightheadedness fading away.

“Shit you can’t do this. Not now, I can’t be going through this again.” Taehyung slowly creaks open the door and mutters to himself, the discomfort in his body ravaging his senses. Being a doctor, he assumed he was just having panic attacks at the concept of infidelity happening to him.

But symptoms proved otherwise, his vision whitened: Lack of blood, but lightheadedness stopping meant blood was back. Which meant otherwise: he wasn’t gong to pass out from sudden drop in pressure.

His brain was simply about to give out; and he’s scared. No, terrified, that _its_ coming back to eat at him again. He had no time to think about the complications if it happened, but Taehyung wasn’t prepared to face it; face his own mental issues, not when Jungkook was somewhere in this unit probably fucking the living lights out of Jimin.

And so Taehyung did his best to prove his guts one last time and heads to their bedroom. And he is greeted by the sight of cluttered polo and jeans. The scent of sweat and breaths echoing outside the slightly ajar wooden panel. Taehyung peaks slightly, the pain of his doubts being proven or his whitening vision: which was more hurting? He didn’t know.

The moment his pair or brown orbs stared into the dim light of his bedroom and saw two figures hunched in positions Taehyung once thought he only saw in pornography and in intimate nights between him and Jungkook. This time, this was Jungkook and someone else. And the moment he hears Jungkook’s voice emit a sound with a familiar name and struck the final chord in his brain and there he knew:

“Kookie. God, your so good to me baby. So tight~!” Jimin’s moans echo, and surprisingly neither of the two notices Taehyung’s pained presence, his hands still gripping his head as the last batch of tears fall down from his pink-teased cheeks.

_This was it. Game over, hopefully I’ll still feel for Hoseok, Seokjin  and Namjoon._

Ghostlike, Taehyung slumps into the guest bedroom,  but not before his last piece of conscience telling him to grab the master keys to the house to make sure no one enters and grabs a glass of water and a bag of chips. He makes a beeline for his phone, and desperately texts Hoseok one last time, taking the last drop of awareness with it:

**To: Seokkie**

**_Promise me you’ll come here exactly 9 in the morning. Not now, please. He cheated._ **

**_P.S. Its happening again._ **

After, he closes the door to the guest bedroom he enters and locks it as he falls down into the bed.  The last batch of tears run down the side of his cheeks as the sound of moans and climaxes fill the rest of the house as Taehyung’s consciousness shuts down.

The last sound of the digital clock at the guest room ticking and alarming the household that its **11:11.**

 


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung wakes up and sees Jungkook who clearly just recently cheated on him with Jimin.
> 
> And unsurprisingly, he tells Jungkook to call it quits.
> 
> What really tears Jungkook's heart is the way Taehyung says it.
> 
> Its like... he never cared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in this chapter, something seems off with Taehyung's behavior. And Hoseok finally enters as a support to Taehyung's... issues.
> 
> Jungkook was drunk and completely regrets it (but y'all will probably hate him, deservedly so in the story)

Taehyung wakes up to a start, feeling energized and eyes excited for the day. He looks around and realizes that he isn’t in his bedroom. He wonders why and wonders where Jungkook is, he should be beside him snuggling or something. He did come home from work tired as far as he knows.

He checks if his phone stayed by his side, and sure enough it did. The time was 8 in the morning but Taehyung didn’t pay attention enough to see the number of notifications coming from Hoseok’s phone number in his screen. He keeps his phone tucked in his pants and stretches himself up, warming himself for his break and for the day.

Taehyung silently opens the door, not wanting to disturb whatever Jungkook was doing and tips through the glassy wooden floor towards the kitchen.

To his surprise and shock, he sees Jungkook shirtless and sweatpants hung low, faced behind him, muttering something about how his head hurts and that he shouldn’t be doing this. Taehyung doesn’t hear the latter’s murmurs as he can only see in his tunnel vision the sight of Jungkook and Jimin in close proximity.

Hickey’s present on both and Jimin looking washed out of his soul.

Something snaps in Taehyung’s head like defense and he sniffs the smell of bacon as a smile encapsulates his lips.

 ~

Jungkook knew it was fucked up, he was fucked. He could never let the guilt down, he was drunk, he was stupid and he was never letting himself out of it. His brain was panging intensely as Jimin was sitting on the kitchen counter, looking at Jungkook with hearts and Jungkook could slightly gag in disgust.

It was a complete mistake being completely wasted with Jimin and fucking with him the entire night.

“Aww, how sweet of you to cook for me Kookie! Jimin trots down from the counter and tips over the kiss Jungkook by the cheek. To which Jungkook could only scoff. “You know that was a mistake. A fucked up one. How will I explain this to Taehyung-“

“-You know we both loved it. You felt so damn good Jungkook. Taehyung doesn’t have to know. He’s being his conservative-“ Jimin caressed Jungkook’s left cheek affectionately and Jungkook could swear he feels each part of his face go up in bumps as he becomes hyperaware of Jimin touching him in this manner. And he can’t bear being turned on when his senses rat at him for being disgusting, a disgusting piece of cheating trash.

And so he ignores Jimin’s affections and proceeds to cook breakfast. Pushing Jimin away and muttering sentences of ‘leave before Taehyung comes’ much to no avail. He was so fucked on how to explain this to Taehyung and if Taehyung were to ever forgive him for such an act.

“Oh really? Your pushing me away right now but that’s not what you were saying as I was deep in-“  Jungkook snarls at the other aggressively as Jimin raises his hands up in defense. The label of friends between the two was long lost to Jungkook the moment he was reminded of how much of a fuck-up he was for hooking up with the person Taehyung considered a close friend as well.

“Jimin, you need to fucking leave now or I will personally kick you out. What happened between us was a mistake. You nee-“

“And why was it a mistake, Kookie?”

This time, the voice that interrupted Jungkook made Jimin freeze, eyes in shock as well as they turn around to find a pair of brown wide eyes and a bright smile looking their way. Jungkook becomes extremely aware of himself now, checking himself out and sees the tens of hickeys across his neck down to the hem of his sweatpants; his hips and stomach was riddled with mistakes from the previous night.

And just as Jungkook looks, Taehyung looks down as well and he looks up, back to a frighteningly normal Taehyung smile. “Y-You have hickeys.?” Taehyung’s sentence comes off as more of a statement but sounding a tad bit curious at the end. “I-Its not what you think. Tae-babe-“ Jungkook pleads, ignoring the burning sounds of bacon and eggs behind him.

“Oh, and Chimchim. Isn’t it rude to still be listening? After you fucked Jungkookie who _used_ to be my boyfriend and all?” Taehyung says this all in glee, a flat and pure contempt-lidded statement running through the brown-locked boy’s thin lips. Even strong-hearted Jimin who never backed down from any challenge looked extremely small, helpless and scared of how Taehyung presented himself to the cheating pair.

He looked unfazed, as if almost happy for the two.

Jimin just stood there in a daze of fear, lips trembling in fear. Taehyung’s behavior was unusual, borderline crazy if Jimin really thought of it. He was supposed to be angry, supposed to slap Jimin for being this piece of shit. But none of that came.

Instead they were greeted with happiness and an extra energized Taehyung who seemed completely out of the fact that Jungkook just cheated on him with Jimin, with evidence literally scattered all over his sight.

“S-Since when were you here-Taehyung?”

“Long enough to hear you release inside Jungkook and boy, -did that feel good Jimin-ah?” Taehyung asks, happily mocking as he pockets his fists in his pants and torso leaning forward. Almost flirting with Jimin at the idea of him fucking Jungkook as Jimin looks down at himself and mentally despises himself; rethinking how much he fucked himself over by seducing Jungkook into commiting.

 “T-Tae. Please listen! It was a mistake. A big fucking mistake that’s nev-“

“-but you let it happen, right in front of me. And I even remember calling you and you acting like you didn’t hear me talk behind the phone. I was supposed to even surprise you with a cake then. So what gives?” Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly as Jungkook was desperately holding onto the ends of Taehyung’s shoulder’s, gripping the sweater’s warm clothing that wrapped bubbly, happy and smiling Taehyung. Who said words which had vile meaning in such a happy, sunshine-wrapped manner.

“I-I swear babe I was out of it. P-Please forgive me. Jimin means nothing, you’re the one I love. P-ple-“ Jungkook pleads, embracing Taehyung’s lean figure completely. His warmth felt amazing to Jungkook and he always knew. He knew he loved Taehyung, and what he did was completely unacceptable to any one.

He’d rather wish Taehyung would slap him, hurt him, maybe even murder them in pure rage. He knew deserved every form of pain imaginable with what he did. But nothing can compare to how Taehyung was here in front of him. Completely aware of the mistake and yet said every passive-aggressive statement as if it were casual; even letting Jungkook wrap his arms around the elder.

“-that’s not what you said when Jimin was balls deep in you though?” Taehyung raises his eyebrow in curiosity, lips pouting as Jungkook nearly forces to shake Taehyung to his senses. To which Taehyung only playfully rolls his eyes and smiles his typical box smile to the pair; Jimin who was now in tears from shame and looking down at himself, and Jungkook who was wide-eyed in complete shock at how Taehyung took the information; nonchalantly.

Taehyung returns the gesture for a second, lightly wrapping his arms around the younger’s waist. For a minute Jungkook thinks everything has a second chance, and he wasn’t going to fuck it up.

“Oh, your bacon’s burning Kookie. And Jimin, would you kindly help your fuckbuddy, or I don’t know; your new boyfriend I guess in cooking. I heard hundreds of hushes from friends that you were that good at cooking!” Taehyung detaches himself from Jungkook and says it flatly, as if it were a typical day and Jungkook continue to be shocked; even Jimin looks up in complete confusion and fear running through his eyes.

“T-Tae. Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“L-Like you don’t even care? Babe I fucked up, aren’t you gonna get angry?” Jungkook pleads, saying words with laden confusion. Never in a million years did he ever imagine he was going to ask a person to respond normally. Not until now.

“Oh, did you? I mean, I guess its normal to fuck around right? I just never thought you were one to do it in the middle of a relationship. And with your ex’s friend too?” Taehyung chuckles as he laughs at the thought, and now Jimin was looking at Taehyung with complete confusion running once again. He knew something was off with Taehyung now. Was he crazy? Was he acting? Jimin knew he fucked up, and so he did the last thing he knew.

“Taehyung-ah! Please forgive me. I know we weren’t the best of friends. But please forgive me. What happened between me and Kookie was a complete mistake! I’ll stay out of your life forever please, just forgive us!” Jimin felt resentment running through his veins and he knew he was never going to live it down. The guilt ultimately consuming him no matter how many times he tried to think back to his confident self minutes ago, being a homewrecker and seducing Taehyung’s boyfriend of 5 years.

And so there he was, kneeling in front of Taehyung’s bright figure, tears running across his face in disappointment with himself, and his desire for forgiveness. This time he knew he really fucked up.

“Chimchimmie!  Oh my cute and short Jimin! Why are you asking for forgiveness?!” Taehyung bends down to match Jimin’s head height and pouts in fake sadness; the kind of fake sadness that friends do when they find other’s petty pain funny. “I don’t like seeing you cry. And neither does Jungkookie. I’m a happy person, I don’t like seeing any of you cry.” Taehyung brushes his palm across Jimin’s right cheek, wet from tears and lips quivering from the sensitive contact. He was just waiting for the time Taehyung punches him; but it never comes.

“I get it Jimin. You have needs. But who knew you were _such a slut, seducing your friend’s boyfriend_. I know Kookie’s hot and all, but damn you should’ve just waited until we broke up. It wasn’t long anyways.” Taehyung says the words with such drive and eagerness, zero pity and it made Jimin cower in fear more, being called a slut so casually. No normal person would say those words in a situation like this.

Jungkook stood in the background, heart clenching and breaking as Taehyung’s words register in his head. Did Taehyung no longer love him even early on? He knew he was undeserving of it after what he did. But even before he fucked up, did Taehyung already fall out of love from him? He didn’t know how to feel about it. He felt betrayed, he felt sad, he felt angry.

“Aww, why is our Kookie crying? Look, your bacon still needs to be taken care of. And look on the bright side, Jimin’s a better fuck than I’ll ever be if we’re going to base it on how lewd you were yesterday. So lighten up, Kookie!” Taehyung has the nerve to giggle, his palms running across Jungkook’s face and rubbing the tears away. Jungkook relishes at the slight seconds of contact between his skin and Taehyung’s large hands.

“Taehyun-g. Why are you like this?”

“I keep asking you again. Like what?”

“-Like you don’t even care that I cheated on you with Jimin.” Jungkook was pleading at this point, he just hoped Taehyung was acting and would break down and would beat him to the ground. Anything was better than Taehyung here, smiling and not giving a single damn about Jungkook and what he did with Jimin.

_“Your not worth crying over. In fact, I think I can't cry over petty things like this anyways.”_   There it was, carelessly said. The sentences that finally broke Jungkook. And so there he was, clad in sweatpants bursting to the brim in wails of tears and desperately grabbing onto Taehyung’s pants for forgiveness, for a proper answer, for anger, for anything.

Just not this kind.

“Stop grabbing pants Kookie. I still have to go out later you know, and these are my favorite pants. So please don’t cry over them.” Taehyung pleads, completely devoid of the emotions to the fact that Jimin was on the floor weeping in silence and Jungkook was grabbing on to him like a lifeline and crying obnoxiously for forgiveness.

_“I swear I’ll be better!”_

_“I swear I’ll never cheat again.”_

_“I swear I’ll take you to those trips you want to go to!”_

_“I swear I’ll love you forever-and that never ever changed. Just please give me a second chance Tae!-_ “ Jungkook begs, now sounding weak and frail at his voice. But its as if Taehyung caught none of it and replied nonchalantly.

“You can go say that to Chimchim now Kookie. You have zero obligations to me now, we’ve been over the moment you moaned his name in bed.” Taehyung then flashes a grin and forcefully removes Jungkook’s grip with such strength that it left Jungkook on the ground, coiled up in himself and tears flowing endlessly.

He hears the doors open, hoping they would never close and Taehyung would come back.

Instead, he hears another voice.

_“Hoseok, you came!”_


	3. Resentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taehyung leaves, Jungkook regrets and resents.

Hoseok enters the room, and the first thing he notices is Taehyung’s beamy wide grin filled with joy and contempt. And he knew, he clearly saw how messy the place was. This was not Kim Taehyung’s doing.

And the man in front of him clearly wasn’t the Kim Taehyung he’d hung out with. Not the Kim Taehyung who’d be extremely emotional, not the Kim Taehyung who’d rant and immediately clean out the mess present in his living room.

Because the Taehyung he knew would immediately pester him to help him clean the living room. And yet there he was, embracing Hoseok like nothing happened. They walk in after a short embrace and see the clutters and the smell of a night Hoseok remembers _, Taehyung had no part in._

Hoseok remembers the text, the exact last one Taehyung sent in the middle of the night detailing him of the attacks coming back, and how Jungkook was cheating on him. He had to deal with the latter issue later, since the former was clearly right in front of him and he had to help out his fellow psychiatrist who ironically, has mental issues himself. Plus he can’t help put a nail to the fucked up things Jungkook did to Taehyung unless Taehyung comes back to his senses. And being a psychiatrist for over 4 years taught Jung Hoseok that Taehyung was an extremely rare case.

Taehyung was grabbing him by the wrist, excitement running through the younger’s eyes as he brought Hoseok’s wrist with his own hands. Bringing him to the kitchen.

And Hoseok was shocked to say the least, seeing Jungkook shirtless and eyes red, puffy from crying and face curled into a helpless expression. There was another man at the back who, when seeing Hoseok muttered something low to Jungkook and left the room.

“Aww, Jiminie left. He should’ve taken Jungkook with him too. Kookie, you ain’t gonna follow your babe?” Taehyung looks up as he sits on the living room couch adjacent to the kitchen, eyes widened in curiosity. Jungkook makes a pained look, not knowing how to react to such boldness from Taehyung.

“W-Why are you like this, Taehyung-ah?!” Jungkook screams in agony, tears spilling faster than a river’s flow and fists clenched at his sides, almost like a baby demanding answers. Taehyung only laughs at the suffering of the younger, at which Hoseok just takes in the scene happening in front of him. “Your cute when you cry Kookie, but I invited Hoseok here to chat. So would you kindly follow your new _babe_ outside?” Taehyung pleads, with zero sarcasm and it sounded genuine which made Jungkook all the more confused and angry with a blank-faced Hoseok in tow.

“I am not leaving until you say something properly!” Jungkook wails, accusatory fingers flailing around to the pair. And Hoseok stands up in contention, a flash of surprise running through the younger’s eyes. “He said get out. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” Hoseok reprimands, a look of disgust and anger sneers through Jungkook’s expression before he locks himself onto their bedroom, far from the sounds of the living room.

Something was wrong with Taehyung’s emotions. He could see the moment Jungkook disappeared from his sight that Taehyung breathed more laborly, his eyes softening and yet shaking, lips almost trembling and weakening into itself. Hoseok exhales, he knows that Taehyung has had _issues_ with his mental state. He’s mentioned it quite a lot to Hoseok, but the older never knew what it specifically was. The younger just said it was some unique version of amnesia. Hoseok was knowledgeable in the field, but he couldn’t figure out what kind he meant. Taehyung never showed signs of memory loss, not even with the thousands of words the memorize in Medicine.

Not until now, not until he realized something with the way Taehyung acted around Jungkook. He was about to say something about Taehyung’s helplessness, not until Taehyung first spoke up. “So, you received my text right?” Taehyung speaks up, all the bubbliness and excitement running through him just a minute ago all disappearing. Leaving a weak, trembling and frail looking Taehyung sitting across him, trying to look as small as ever. Clear signs of depression striking the younger at a fast rate.

“Yes, and he cheated on you. I can clearly see the hickeys. And was it with that man here a while ago, I presume?” Hoseok asks formally, making it sound like a hospital assessment, even though Taehyung was his bestfriend, even though Taehyung was a fellow psychiatrist and knew things more than him. No one was immune from having mental issues, not even the psychologists and psychiatrists like Taehyung. Taehyung felt so helpless, he felt alone, he felt angry, he despised Jungkook. He wanted to hurt Jungkook but he knew he could never bear himself to do it, he wanted Jungkook to feel the pain he felt yesterday and today coursing in his blood behind the self defense of his senses.

Taehyung was also aware of his actions, but his body’s mental state refused to break down. He was entering one of those personality disorder attacks of his again that never appeared again ever since he was 7. And it was only on extremely traumatic situations, seeing as how he caught and heard Jungkook commit such acts with his own ears and eyes with Jimin of all people. And to think he was so deep In love, he was wrecked to say the least.

He was aware that he was plastering a smile so genuine it scared Jimin endlessly. He was aware that his words were vile, but the tone and voice he used to say so were extremely positive and bubbly and it just didn’t add up. Confusing and scaring the cheating pair even more. It was a defense mechanism of his body and he knew it would be hitting him the moment his vision tunneled and he was led to the guest bedroom as he heard Jungkook and Jimin moan endlessly.

“Tae. You do realize what you did awhile ago was not normal, right?” Hoseok asks sternly to which Taehyung replies with a low nod. Guilty of what he’s done, he speaks up in defense “You don’t know how much hate was boiling inside me Seok, I just wanted to punch the living lights out of Jimin. But my body, I don’t know it just chose to make me feel happy. Insulting and calmly talking to them made me feel. I don’t know, tingly? God I’m so fucked up hyung.” Taehyung places his hands on his eyes in guilt as he arches backwards to the couch’s headfoam.

“You have some form of repressed memory amnesia. You’re a psychiatrist Tae, your aware of this right?” Hoseok asks, slightly tilting his head and moving closer to Taehyung. His palms at the back of the younger, as if in comfort. “Ironic isn’t it hyung? How I’m the better psychiatrist between us and yet here I am having a mental breakdown in front of you and asking for help.” Taehyung sounds weak, face buried in Hoseok’s chest and pitifully moaning in sadness as the elder continue to comfort him.

“Everytime you see Jungkook. Your brain refuses to accept negative expressions and floods you with feel good hormones.” Hoseok says a matter-of-factly, to which he can hear Taehyung slightly nod as he inhales the scent of his hyung’s black sweater; the smell of pine trees and wildflowers slightly calming his breath.

“Its fucked up hyung. I guess this brain of mine found it too traumatic.” Taehyung weakly chuckles, shoulders bopping up and down to support his frail breath. Hoseok found it borderline pitiful.

“Damn, he really fucked up, and he really fucked you up.” Hoseok pushes Taehyung away from his warmth for a bit to look at the younger with a weak defeated look, eyes droopy and lips pouty from tiredness and emotion completely drained.

“Y-Yeah. I just wanna move on from this bullshit. B-But this fucking brain of mine shuts down when I see him. I wanna give him a ch-“

“Don’t. Assholes like him will make your issue worse. He doesn’t deserve it.” Hoseok flats out and Taehyung listens like a puppy, after a long sigh and mentally recuperating the little sanity he could muster up. He stands up and smiles weakly at Hoseok.

“Your right hyung, if he threw away 5 years of my love like that. Who is he to stop me from leaving him?” Taehyung tries to convince himself, he succeeds in sounding triumphant but mentally sighs in defeat as he knew it would take nearly a decade to even be close to not seeing Jungkook and be reminded of the scars he put on Taehyung’s frail heart.

“That’s the spirit. We may be both doctors but its not out of line for us to have fun. C’mon, let me take you out to dinner, after we can go to that nearby arcade my house and play ball!” Hoseok urges and he can see the slight lighting in Taehyung’s eyes flame, even just a little bit in the dim sadness and depression that’s coated the younger in a span of 9 hours. Taehyung nods in reply, “I’ll just go get changed.” Taehyung walks to the bedroom door and knocks before Hoseok can stop him, and it opens.

Jungkook is on the other end, now with a grey oversized shirt, the one that Taehyung owns and the moment Taehyung lands his eyes on Jungkook’s own pitifully red ones. He faintly smiles, the real Taehyung still present in raw emotions. “Y-You cheated on me. And I heard it all.” Was the last thing Taehyung could say whilst still sane, and before Jungkook could form a reply in his coarsed and cloudy head filled with anger, disappointment and self-hatred. Taehyung sees the purple bruise near the apple of Jungkook’s throat and just like that.

Taehyung’s iris’ widens and his brain suddenly turns into a daze of elation and anger bubbling in his stomach.

~

“T-Taehyung babe. I know its unacceptable but please, I didn’t mean it. I can explain it. I love you so much, please stop being cold towards me.” Jungkook pleads, tears now starting to threaten his eyes a from falling, hands pleadingly clasped towards Taehyung’s bigger ones.

“W-why? I’m not being cold to you.” Taehyung says with a grin, a terrifyingly big one as he places a peck on Jungkook’s lips. “Your hot, you cheated on me with Jimin. What’s the big deal? You can call me anytime if you wanna fuck, or you know, since you said last night that Jimin was amazing; ‘bout him?” Taehyung casually replies with a smirk plastered across his face.

Jungkook was a trembling mess at this point, he felt mocked, he felt insulted, by Taehyung, by fate, by the world for the biggest mistake he made in his more than two decades of life. It was like Taehyung put him up, kissing him even. And then just dropped him like a fragile piece of sculpture by treating him as some sexual being.

“Is that what I am to you now? Some person you can easily kiss and say you wanna fuck?” Jungkook’s voice raised, slightly maddened and angry at Taehyung who he knew he had zero right to get angry at But this was becoming all a little too much. “Why are you getting angry? Wasn’t the reason you cheated on me because you found Jimin just a little more tempting than being loyal to me?” Taehyung laughs, and Jungkook feels all the more mocked as the older laughs cynically, as if it were some cruel joke.

“I-I was drunk! I kno-“

“-oh shut the explanations Kookie. You can always call me for a good fuck, and I’m pretty horny right now anyways. But I gotta go somewhere with Hoseok so if you don’t mind getting out for a bit cause I’m gonna change.” Taehyung pleads, hands in a prayer manner as if begging and all of a sudden Jungkook feels mistreated, its like Jungkook became just an acquaintance in Taehyung’s eyes. Not even being able to lather in the pleasure of being in the same room as the person he loves; changing.

“So-you fucked up huh?” Hoseok chuckles mockingly at Jungkook and the younger sneers. Wanting to punch the lights out of the older who he barely knew, but he was too weak and tired to even lift a finger. He figured if robbers went here he’d probably just give himself up and not even try to put up a fight even though he was an extremely fit black-belter.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Jeon Jungkook. You should probably just let that sink in. And just to let you know, he was right there the entire time you were fucking the night before.” Hoseok says, in the most guilt-inducing manner ever and it strikers Jungkook to the core. The memory pleasurable at the time but now was disgusting to Jungkook and yet he could do nothing to undo the mistake he made. “Why the fuck did it have to end like this?!” is all Jungkook musters up before he falls into the couch in a fetal position and muffled sounds of tears coming out.

“The question is, why’d you do that?” Hoseok questions, tone mocking and Jungkook could do nothing but accept every inch of poison from the words. Because each mocking action they did just destroyed his ego and his pride all the more and he knew he was helpless from the shame.

“I don’t know. I was lonely, I was drunk. I knew Jimin had a thing for me and I took advan-God fuck! I shouldn’t have. I love Taehyung so fucking much, he doesn’t deserve a fuck-up like me and if i-“

“-if you loved me, you would have never gotten drunk and taken advantage of Jimin’s lust over you in the first place.” Taehyung says a matter-of-factly, answering as if his answer were from an oral recitation as he adjusts his belt. Jungkook would never lie that his boyfriend, his e _x_ boyfriend always took the breath away from him. They were 5 years going strong already, but Jungkook fucked up and yet he still can’t deny that Taehyung was breathtakingly beautiful, his broad shoulders, his piercing gaze, his thin lips, his perfect proportions.

Jungkook was extremely attracted to Taehyung physically still. But it never stopped there, he loved him with all of his being. How Taehyung would be clingy, how Taehyung always demanded they turn on the TV as they slept on the couch, how Taehyung would always go out of the way to help the poor when they were in public, how Taehyung would unabashedly show and prove his love to Jungkook all the time.

Whilst when Taehyung was away for just a week, Jungkook became greedy and selfish and turned to other people for the touch he missed from the elder. And he knew, that was a complete mistake. He became a cheating fuck-up on the only week Taehyung was completely detached from him. He had reasons to defend it but deep inside he knew he just fucked up and there was no defending it. He just hopes Taehyung forgives him and sees him as a friend.

But, like this, was the most excruciating form of pain and emotional death to Jungkook. Having Taehyung completely present in his life, bubbly but in all the wrong ways. His subtle aggression to Jungkook, rubbing every inch of his mistakes up in his face in the matter of an hour was draining every inch of Jungkook out.

“-Seokkie, you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll every be Taetae.” That was Jungkook’s nickname to Taehyung. Hoseok grins and walks past Jungkook who was on the floor right now, helpless and looking like utter trash with his hair flying everywhere and face wet from all the tears he spent. He was exhausted from the emotions he felt and yet he still went on, crying for the longest he knew he ever could.

“W-Where are you going?” Jungkook pleads one last look as Hoseok walks out and Taehyung holds out the door one last time, Jungkook is still take aback by Taehyung. Grey sweater with tears on certain parts and a black skinny jeans coupled with sneakers and a thin layer of eyeliner made Taehyung look godly in Jungkook’s eyes, he knew right there and then how much he missed out on and just how unworthy he was of Taehyung.

“Somewhere where I’ll find someone who’ll fuck me senseless and not cheat on me with my friends.” Taehyung flashes him a boxy grin before slamming the door close.

And there Jungkook was, just closing his eyes in defeat.

_This was it._

**Author's Note:**

> realistically, and this is putting all the important aspects of the plot:
> 
> after realization comes anger.
> 
> and Jungkook realizes soon.


End file.
